You sit with a problem, turning it over in your mind, examining it from different angles. You tell yourself you’re thinking it through. Being thoughtful. Considering your options.
But hours pass and nothing shifts. You’re exhausted, not clearer. The same thoughts circle back, wearing deeper grooves. You mistake this for productive reflection when it’s something else entirely.
Reflection creates movement. Rumination drains energy.
Rumination rehearses. Same evidence, same conclusions, same beliefs confirmed. The thoughts feel productive because they’re active, but you’re spinning wheels. You finish where you started, just more tired.
This happens to everyone, even people trained to think critically. The very skill that usually serves you well starts working against you.
Reflection asks questions: Why does this matter to me? What might I do differently? What can I learn? It looks for patterns, tests assumptions, generates options. You finish with insight, even if small. Something has shifted.
The distinction matters because one moves you forward whilst the other keeps you stuck.
How do you tell the difference? Simple: reflection ends somewhere. You gain clarity, make a decision, or recognize you need different information. Rumination loops endlessly because it’s not actually trying to solve anything—it’s managing anxiety by staying busy.
If you’ve been “thinking about” the same situation for weeks without movement, you’re probably ruminating. And that’s an energy problem worth addressing.
It’s in these situations where you need someone outside the loop. Someone to help you see where thinking stops being useful and starts being a drain. That’s what coaching does—it breaks the circle of rumination and creates room for actual reflection.
If this sounds like you and you want to do something differently, let’s talk.
